Utica High School Class of 1971 On the Lookout for Class Members!

Utica, Ohio. North Fork Local School District - We are the Utica, Ohio High School Redskins Class of 1971!

'71 Fun Page

Umph, Ungowa, Redskins got the Powa!Welcome to Fun Page! Umph, Ungowa, Redskins got the Powa!

Home of the 1971 Utica Redskins!

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You figure it out...24 Thought Provoking Questions...

1. If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?
2. Could Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
3. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
4. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
5. If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
6. And whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"?
7. If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him....Is he still wrong?
8. Is there another word for synonym?
9. Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
10. Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
11. What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
12. If a parsley farmer is sued do they garnish his wages?
13. Would a wingless fly be called a walk?
14. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they worried someone will clean them?
15. Is a shell-less turtle homeless or just naked?
16. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
17. If a mime is arrested do they tell him he has the right to talk?
18. Why do they put Braille on the drive-thru bank machines?
19. Do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
20. Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
21. Is it true that cannibals won't eat clowns because they taste funny?
22. What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?
24. Can God make a rock too big for him to lift?

Some more thoughts:

Can you cry under water?

HOW IMPORTANT DOES A PERSON HAVE TO BE BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED ASSASSINATED INSTEAD OF JUST MURDERED?

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO "PUT YOUR TWO CENTS IN".. BUT IT'S ONLY A "PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS"? WHERE'S THAT EXTRA PENNY GOING TO?

WHY DOES A ROUND PIZZA COME IN A SQUARE BOX?

WHAT DISEASE DID CURED HAM ACTUALLY HAVE?

HOW IS IT THAT WE PUT MAN ON THE MOON BEFORE WE FIGURED OUT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO PUT WHEELS ON LUGGAGE?

WHY IS IT THAT PEOPLE SAY THEY "SLEPT LIKE A BABY" WHEN BABIES WAKE UP LIKE EVERY TWO HOURS?

IF A DEAF PERSON HAS TO GO TO COURT, IS IT STILL CALLED A HEARING?

WHY ARE YOU IN A MOVIE, BUT YOU'RE ON TV?

WHY DO PEOPLE PAY TO GO UP TALL BUILDINGS AND THEN PUT MONEY IN BINOCULARS TO LOOK AT THINGS ON THE GROUND?

WHY DO DOCTORS LEAVE THE ROOM WHILE YOU CHANGE? THEY'RE GOING TO SEE YOU NAKED ANYWAY.

WHY IS "BRA" SINGULAR AND "PANTIES" PLURAL?

WHY DO TOASTERS ALWAYS HAVE A SETTING THAT BURNS THE TOAST TO A HORRIBLE CRISP, WHICH NO DECENT HUMAN BEING WOULD EAT?

IF JIMMY CRACKS CORN AND NO ONE CARES, WHY IS THERE A STUPID SONG ABOUT HIM?

IF THE PROFESSOR ON GILLIGAN'S ISLAND CAN MAKE A RADIO OUT OF A COCONUT, WHY CAN'T HE FIX A HOLE IN A BOAT?

WHY DOES GOOFY STAND ERECT WHILE PLUTO REMAINS ON ALL FOURS? THEY'RE BOTH DOGS!

IF WILE E. COYOTE HAD ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY ALL THAT ACME CRAP, WHY DIDN'T HE JUST BUY DINNER?

 IF CORN OIL IS MADE FROM CORN, AND VEGETABLE OIL IS MADE FROM VEGETABLES, WHAT IS BABY OIL MADE FROM?

IF ELECTRICITY COMES FROM ELECTRONS, DOES MORALITY COME FROM MORONS?

DO THE ALPHABET SONG AND TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR HAVE THE SAME TUNE?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

DID YOU EVER NOTICE THAT WHEN YOU BLOW IN A DOG'S FACE, HE GETS MAD AT YOU, BUT WHEN YOU TAKE HIM FOR A CAR RIDE, HE STICKS HIS HEAD OUT THE WINDOW?

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TOP TEN SIGNS YOU ARE TOO OLD TO BE TRICK OR TREATING!

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3.You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-'s live.

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Why, That Little %$#(@^&!!!

A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

The son replied, "When Lincoln was your age, he was The President of The United States."

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Judging people - Another one of life's lessons...

Question 1:

If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before scrolling down to the answer of this one.

Question 2:

It is time to elect a new world leader, and your vote; counts.

Here are the facts about the three leading candidates:

Candidate A: Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with Astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a Day.

Candidate B: He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whisky every evening.

Candidate C: He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any extramarital affairs.

 

Which of these candidates would be your choice?

(Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt,

Candidate B is Winston Churchill,

Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

 

And by the way: Answer to the abortion question if you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

 

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone...and remember, Amateurs built the ark .... Professionals built the Titanic.

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There will be a quiz on Tuesday. Hmmmmmmmmmmm...

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©2001-2009 Utica High School Class of 1971. All rights reserved.

Posted September 8, 2002

Last Updated 1/29/2009

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